Standing Too Close

if I held some offense
to my heart like a wounded
bird that must be cared for

or die and if in time
I saw that it is
the wound itself

I hold and feed
and that it is a thing
that only I can see

then I would know
that the teacher had arrived
to give the usual lesson

that I have been standing too close
to the mind of the man
I am trying to outlive

I have been creating relationship
with vanished events
I have been creating meaning

which only I can know
and that lives only in turmoil
so that I get too spun

around to see that nothing
at all
has happened